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The Facebook dilemma: Part Two

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By Vanessa Massel | Opinion Editor | May 25, 2012

It’s been a long Junior year – a Junior year I did not miss Facebook.

The decision to withhold myself from the Facebook world was a long one. One that I thought over, day after day.

As I was beginning to make my decision, back in September, many of my friend knew that I did not have a Facebook: some from me and some from the article.  But still I got the question – Do you have a Facebook yet?  

No, I answered time and time again.

No, I am the point one percent of high school students that do not have a Facebook by free will.

So a few weeks later I had decided – No Facebook for me.

Then something happened, something that made me question my choice once again.


Well grades, aka a huge project worth around 10 to 15 percent of my math grade.

So, I worked on it at school and home, and of course what often happens in math happened to me – I got stuck. And I picked up the phone and called a friend (yes called, I still call people unlike most high school students, but that’s an issue for another article).

“There’s a great group on Facebook that we’re all on.” She informed me. “It is extremely helpful.”

I cautiously reminded her that I don’t have a Facebook.

She was sympathetic and helped me but I somehow got the feeling that everyone else with a Facebook was understanding this project a great deal better that I was.

Would my grade suffer because I had not agreed to follow the social norm?

But holding my head high (not literally) I finished the project and turned it in. And low and behold  did not do the best I could have. But then again that could have just been my math ability.

After that I forgot about Facebook for a while, until (guess what?) the next big math investigation, and this one was the big one, the one getting turned in to the International Baccalaureate (IB) program for part of my final IB score.

And once again the unhelpful, at least to me, IB Math Investigation group popped up on Facebook.

And this time I really needed help.

“Why don’t you just get a Facebook and just use it for this project?” My mom asked after I complained endlessly to her.

Now even my mom encouraged me to get a Facebook.

But I thought about it as I struggled (and struggled) through the project.

And then, “guess what?” A friend said to me one day at lunch, “I got a Facebook.”

Well that caught my attention. One of my few remaining Facebookless friends had taken the dive into the unknown. The dive I did not want to take.

“And the Math group is really helpful.”

Great, just great! Even she had done it, she who was less conventional than I was.

Hmm, I really did need help on this project.

Should I do it?

No! I held out this long and I don’t even want one! But it could hurt your math grade by not getting one. I know you want an A in math, would you really give it up for this, it’s just a Facebook. 

But after a long discussion with myself (not  out loud), I decided that I was being over dramatic and that the possible few extra points gained on this project would not be the difference between an  A and a B in the class. And I didn’t even know how much the math group would help me.

And so for a few months I was content, even happy with my Facebook free life.

When the “are you coming to the event?” conversations began to happen. Oh right, the event that was on Facebook that I didn’t hear about until the day before, or a week after in some cases.  

Even that didn’t bother me. I didn’t want a Facebook.

But then there was a boy. (Yes I know, surprise right?) A boy from out of town, out of the country and let’s just say I liked him.

And, unfortunately he was in town for well, three days. But wait it gets better, he was almost booked solid.

So I spent what little time he had with him and guess what he asked me?

No, I don’t have a Facebook, I replied. And he was bummed (I know, sweet right?) so we exchanged emails (yes, they do still exist!).

But as we got closer he asked me again to get one so we could stay in contact and get this, I almost agreed. I must have really liked him.

And so, because time keeps moving, he left.

So I thought about getting a Facebook and just as quickly dropped it. If he wanted to stay in touch with me he would email me. (Just for closure, he lost my email, a mutual friend gave it to him and he did email me, no Facebook needed)

And that’s that. I don’t want and don’t need a Facebook. Sure it’s annoying to miss invitations, but I’ll get all the important ones because my friends do know that I don’t have a Facebook.

Finally, after everything, I had made my long awaited decision After much thought here is what I am going to do.

I will get a Facebook, just not now. I will get one a bit before graduating from high school. That way I can stay in touch with all of my high school friends when I got to college.

And who knows? When that time comes I may change my mind and find the need to write The Facebook Dilemma Part III.



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5 Responses to “The Facebook dilemma: Part Two”

  1. Nikhil Shiday on May 25th, 2012 4:48 PM

    As a militant proponent of technology (okay, that’s not really true), I have to vehemently oppose your stance of not having a Facebook. I’m most curious about are your actual reasons for not getting an account, because as far as I can see there are very few disadvantages, unless you misuse the service (much like the library or public transportation). I am in groups for 4 out of 6 of my classes, and we frequently exchange notes, ideas and socialize to create a vibrant class environment in and out of school!


  2. Sarah Chase on May 26th, 2012 9:21 AM

    AWWW This makes me so happy for you and “him.” And I love your articles!


  3. Alice on May 29th, 2012 12:23 PM

    I don’t understand why you are making such a big deal about Facebook. If you don’t want one, don’t get one. There’s no need to write a whole article about it.


    Annie Van Ost Reply:

    Probably because she’s a writer and found the subject interesting.


  4. Annie Van Ost on May 29th, 2012 5:09 PM

    Great article Vanessa. Facebook can be very time consuming and drama producing. I respect your decision 100%!


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The Facebook dilemma: Part Two